Crushed Butterfly
by Ashe Corinthos
Summary: "By the time he realized she was losing herself, it was too late." -Of trying and pain, and the hope for a silver lining to it all.


_**She was precious.**_

 **Her wings were beautiful and colorful, and she- she was so** _ **free-**_

 _ **-**_ **once upon a time** **. **

**Then, slowly, he watched as the wings of his beautiful butterfly were crushed,** _ **maimed**_ **, and-**

 **-** **she never recovered.**

 **.x.X.x.**

In a perfect world, everyone is happy.

There is no sadness, no gloom or despair or pain. There's beauty and magnificence, kindness, prosperity- nothing able to hurt anyone, nothing broken or agonizing or tepid.

That world- he wishes she'd been given that world.

She would have thrived. His glorious, imaginative butterfly would have basked in the glow of such a place, become stronger and even more amazing to behold.

His Rin, who gave everything her all, who thought of others first, who laughed easily and allowed her wings to color in sweet shades of rainbow, would have survived in that world.

If only it existed. If only she'd been protected from harsh reality, from the cruelty of life and its obstacles.

Sometimes, even the prettiest colors fade to dull black. And he- he was forced to watch as the stunning shades of beauty she once wore turned dark, murky, muddied by time and pain.

He tried to be the one to save her. Tried catching her when she fell, to find help from those who genuinely cared- but nothing worked. There was nothing he _could_ do as he faced her deteriorating state.

( _It's hard to save someone when they don't want to save themselves._ )

Yet, Len couldn't stop _trying._

It hurt him almost more than it hurt her, to watch the life dull in her cerulean blue eyes. To be forced to stand by as she crumbled under pressure he couldn't see, weights so heavy they maimed her once brilliant wings.

By the time he realized she was losing herself, it was too late.

( _Too late to save her, too late to remind her of the important things, to give her everything she desperately needed._ )

Now he can only recall memories of her happy self, the loving smile on her face, their cheerful talks, the look of happiness she once let adorn her face like a trophy.

He misses her so much. Even thinking about her like this is heartbreaking, because he knows he may never see her like that again- carefree, like there's a bright future just waiting for her every day, an adventure to take, a person whose day she'd brighten.

If only he could get her back.

If only there had been some other way, something he hadn't seen, some secret gateway to her heart so he could change it, erase the darkness that took residence.

But he can't, and he also has to face the fact that it was never his fault that she broke apart, either.

 _No one_ was at fault for this. Everyone bends and breaks under the crushing weights given to them, some pushing through to meet the silver lining ahead of them, and the others unable to take the final steps. It doesn't mean you're weak- it just means that you were given crosses too big to bear.

Yet he loved her so much, cherished her, his ray of sunshine and grace, that even now he can't understand why it wasn't _enough_.

 _(But he was never to blame.)_

Rin was his butterfly. His ever-gliding, vibrant angel who always made him happier. It was her who kept him supported when even he was threatened with being smashed across the rocks in the seas of life.

Even if there's nothing he can do, now, it's not like he's given up on her.

No, definitely not. Even now, at her lowest when she can't even bear to live the life she was given, he'll stay by her side. Always- he promised her that he'd never leave her side.

If she ever needs him, he'll be right there. He'll pick her up when she'll let him, shower her in affection and give her whatever she desires. He'll hold her up when she crashes to the ground, help her fly again, and maybe, just maybe…

If he tries hard enough, she'll fly without his help. She'll smile without being unendingly sad. Her wings will be dyed in vast arrays of color once more, and she'll be genuinely happy again.

Until then, he'll wait. No matter how long it takes, no matter what is thrown at him or her, he'll never leave her, never abandon her.

When he said he loved her for everything that she was, he meant it.

So for now he'll bide his time, wait it out and edge her along the path she can take, _should_ take that's invisible to her now; and while the time now may be dipped in shades of black, white and gray, there'll come a time when it won't be.

There's always color, hiding behind the darkness, along with the light everyone cherishes. Sometimes it's harder to find, but you _can_ find it. He's never given that up.

He'll hold on to her for as long as she needs him, and some day, finally…

...They'll both soar together again.

* * *

A/N: This is dedicated to **whimsyappletea** and is unbeta'd.

I hope you all know that even though life is hard and painful, and even if you think there is no choices left and you're so heavily burdened that you can't ever get back up, please know that there are so many people who love you and that everyone loves having you in their life. The world isn't always cruel, and it holds a lot of happiness to. Seek that happiness, find it, claim it as yours. Don't ever give in.

Please protect your wings, everyone, they're very special.

~Disclaimer~ I own ideals of butterflies and a bit of optimism, nothing more.


End file.
